$h!t!

Everybody swears. They all do. Even the most docile of characters have some swear words lying dormant within them - ready to be utilized if sufficiently provoked. Now the World Cup is about to kick off today and we already have some odd news.

Wayne Rooney will find his temperament under even greater scrutiny in England’s opening World Cup fixture on Saturday.

It emerged last night that the match officials have taken a crash course in English swearwords as part of a crackdown on abusive language.

Rooney has already been warned about his temperament by Fabio Capello, the England manager, and by Jeff Selogilwe, the South African referee who booked him and accused him of using foul and abusive language during the final warm-up match, against Platinum Stars on Monday.

Now the temperamental striker will be alarmed to learn that Carlos Eugênio Simon, who will referee England’s first group C match against the United States in Rustenburg, and his assistants have been given a list of 20 English profanities to clamp down on.

Hahah! I mean seriously? Referees already have many things to worry about during the game and the last thing they need is to reach into their pockets for a small flashcard and worrying about translations.

I'm not one to pepper my speech with profanities, but I do recognize their place in popular culture. Consider this exchange between two actors in a particular movie.

J : You used this towel?

V : Yeah, to dry my hands.

J : Didn't you wash them with soap first?

V: I did. But its hard to get it off.

J : I used the same soap you did!

Not very interesting is it? 'No kick' as they say. That was from the movie Pulp Fiction and featured a conversation between Jules and Vincent who were cleaning their blood-soaked hands. Somehow I don't think Pulp Fiction would have been as iconic as it is had it been censored to such a degree. Here is the colorful version in its full glory...if you're interested. - LINK

It is said that Wayne Rooney's passion for the game has often been misunderstood as anger. It is just an outlet for him to release his frustrations on the pitch. Well its definitely better than head-butting an opponent in the chest... and here's where he can learn from us Malaysians.

We are a multilingual society - and that means we are capable of cursing in more than 1 language or dialect. Fabio Capello should teach his players to swear in other languages so they do not risk losing. I mean if the players cannot vent their anger in their normal ways, it will definitely affect their performance. All that rage within them will turn them green like Hulks. Unless its Rooney - then its green like Shrek. They've been training for 4 years for this one moment (swearing all the way through their qualification I'm sure) and now you ask them to change the night before? Impossible!

Merseyside Bankers

Liverpool FC has recently unveiled their new home kit for the 2010/2011 season featuring their new shirt sponsor Standard Chartered. It is similar to the shirt won by the championship winning team in 1990 (hopefully this is not the only way they are thinking of improving the squad after a dismal season). 'Oh we wear the same kit...so we can win the league next season'... righhhttt

Over the years Liverpool FC has been synonymous with Carlsberg. Their partnership dates back to 1992 and such a tenure creates a feeling of attachment and nostalgia. I was quite disappointed when Standard Chartered were taking over from Carlsberg...until I realised how much more StanChart were going to pay.

Under the old agreement with Carlsberg, Liverpool got a paltry £7 million pounds a season. Their peers were getting:

Chelsea - £50 million for 5 years with Samsung (£10million/season)

Man Utd - £54 million for 4 years with AIG (£13.5 million/season)

Tottenham - £34 million for 4 years with Mansion House (£8.5 million/season)

Let's talk home loans and interest rates

StanChart's deal costs £80 million over 4 years, bringing in the much needed £20 million each season to the debt ridden owners. Its a lucky thing they signed this last year before Liverpool bombed in the league, heheh. I doubt they will ever get this amount if it were being negotiated now.

As for Carlsberg and all the nostalgia? Nahh... long forgotten. Cash is king.

The Tiger Roars Back!...meekly

If you happened to watch ESPN last night, you would have seen a live telecast of Tiger emerging from his solitude.

A lot of things have already been said about Tiger but can he recover from this seemingly deep pile of 'tahi' that he is in? I believe he can, and here's why I think so.

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1) Bill and Hillary Clinton

Bill Clinton is an exceptional man. He oozes so much charm and confidence that he makes Obama looks like an immensely shy and introverted teenager who still wets his bed. Unfortunately his scandal with Monica Lewinsky became his undoing as it brought a lot of controversy and eventually kickstarted impeachment proceedings.

Hillary about to administer a karate chop when Bill was eyeing some 'candy'

Aftermath - Bill and Hillary are still married. You can argue that there is of course no other way as a divorce will jeopardize Hillary's political career. Besides, these two have a synergistic combination that will be worthless if they went their own ways. Bill remained hugely popular after he left office, even more so after the voters suffered 8 years under the idiot that succeeded him.

2) John Terry and Toni Poole

John Terry was publicly disgraced after failing to secure a super injunction that prevented the press from publishing stories of his affair with underwear model Veronica Perroncel. So when the whole thing blew open and details were explosively released, JT lost his England captaincy and Toni took the kids to Dubai.
Aftermath - What part of Toni's face says 'I'm still damn pissed with you for cheating behind my back?' John may have lost the England captaincy but at Chelsea, he's still the top dog. However, its still early to say what long term implications this may have on his career but if he plays his cards well, it will fall to his favour.

3) David Letterman and Regina Lasko

In October last year, David announced on his show that he was being blackmailed regarding his alleged affairs with the subordinates on his show. He also confirmed that the allegations were true.
Aftermath - David publicly apologized to his wife and stated that he has his work cut out for him. His ratings did not seem to be negatively affected by the scandal but on the contrary boosted it slightly.

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I'm not saying its alright to cheat on your spouse, let's be clear on that. However, I think Tiger can draw some lessons from some of these men. All these men may have erred, but they are good in what they do. Despite all the mess in their personal lives, when they are doing their jobs they are among the best in the world.

Tiger needs to be seen saying the right words and doing the right things from now. And once he comes back to the golf course and does what he does best (on the golf course I mean) all will be forgiven. Everybody loves a winner despite all the imperfections. This is the year of the Tiger after all.

Dark Ages

If there is any disadvantage in staying in Sabah at all, I'd say its the constant power cuts that spoils its utopian charm. Sabah's electricity woes are so legendary that Lim Kit Siang has hit out at SESB (Sabah Electricity Sdn Bhd) in his book 'The Cries of Sabah'.

“Talking about power supply in my hometown, on average in a month, we will be in total darkness for at least 72 hours; the highest record was no power supply for 8 hours a day for 1 whole week!! If there is no power disruption in Sabah, then it’s not Sabah, SESB confirms to this, where SESB stands for SABAH EVERYDAY SURE BLACKOUT. If there were no power supply for half an hour in Kuala Lumpur, the capital of Malaysia, tomorrow it will be the top news in the media, but for us Sabahans on the other side of Malaysia, being drenched in total darkness for few others, causing traffics to go haywire, no one even bothered about us.”

- “The cries of Sabahan”

I can assure you readers from West Malaysia that, YES, its that bad. Everytime there is a power cut, it will undoubtedly affect my workplace - how else can I key in sales transactions when the monitors are all blank right? So we have to rely on manual written transactions that will be entered into the POS once the power comes back on.

This is really bothersome, especially if you have multiple customers waiting and you are copying down all the barcodes, prices, items and whatnot furiously while trying to counsel them at the same time.

Looking through all of last year's transactions, I've counted a total of 42 power cuts during office hours. Thats like almost one every week! Mind you, this is not including power cuts at odd hours of the night that wakes us up in a pool of sweat, only to get back to sleep by losing consciousness through extreme heat exhaustion.

As much as I hate power disruptions, there are times when I long for it. Oh say when the telly is showing Sir Alex like this...

Sir Alex's nasal follicles are longer than my beard!

Having nasal hair that shows is a greater sin than having inappropriate relations with your pet dog. I find it difficult talking to people who have such a substantial volume of hair in the nose that wave to you everytime they exhale. What's worse is that they seem to be proud of it. I've always believed that it takes a great deal of apathy towards personal hygiene and grooming for it to ever reach such a level.

Speaking of apathy, that's the general feeling towards power cuts now in Sabah. Talk to any man on the street and yes he will be pissed at SESB but the conversation will always end with 'What to do? Don't get electricity from them, who else can you get from?' We've all learnt to adjust and live our lives around this terrible inconvenience. Apathy has become acceptance in a way.

Maybe I should start getting used to nasal hair as plan B in case I can never grow a moustache.

Crisis?

One year ago, I wrote a post about how Liverpool will not win the league and I was right, just barely. They went on to finish second and almost had the title in their grasp. This season leh...(sighs)

5 league defeats in 11 games, everyone is asking, how can Rafa still be the manager?

Rafa: Torres has baby faced skin? You OBVIOUSLY haven't seen my thighs

First of all, Rafa has attained some what of a legendary status at Anfield. He delivered the Champions League trophy in his very first season and the FA cup the following year. So Liverpool fans will always have a soft spot in their hearts for this man. However the past is past and I think we will get no where if we always cling on to it.

The second point in Rafa's defence is stability. Think about it, the most successful football clubs are those who have long serving managers - Sir Alex Ferguson and Arsene Wenger comes to mind. Changing managers frequently will bring about instability as each manager will choose to run things in a very different way.

Things could turn dirty for Rafa in coming weeks as an article appeared in Soccernet accusing Rafa of neglecting the league and prioritising European performances to secure another job. Well, tomorrow's clash with Lyon could be Rafa's Waterloo. Champions League football has always been his specialty but if he loses that golden touch in the CL, he may just lose his job.

Can't beat this guy

And some of you cringed when you heard that I put the phrase 'You'll Never Walk Alone' in my wedding vow to my wife...

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July 19, 2009 (LINK)

MARRIED TO LIVERPOOL

Singapore's craziest Reds fan loves the club more than his wife - and she doesn't mind

By Jeanette Wang

FOR the past 21 years, Vikinisvaran Suppiah has kept a passionate relationship burning strong.

His wife, Bawani Arumoh, knows about it, but does not mind.

In fact, their lives revolve around this third party, whose presence dominates the couple's flat and whose name is proudly etched on his gold wedding ring.

'I love Liverpool more than my wife,' Vikinisvaran, 31, declared on Saturday of his romance with the English football club.

Bawani, 29, remains nonchalant about her husband's shared affection, calling it a 'healthy obsession'.

The Sunday Times calls him Singapore's craziest Liverpool fan, after receiving more than 700 contest entries in the past two weeks. Vikinisvaran clinched the grand prize of two training passes and four match tickets for Liverpool's visit here this week with his insanity.

The couple, who met 15 years ago as schoolmates at St Thomas Secondary, had a Liverpool-themed engagement in 2005. Against the backdrop of the club crest, Vikinisvaran recited his wedding vows, ending with an echo of the promise of the 18-time league champions: 'We'll Never Walk Alone.'

Then came their traditional wedding ceremony in 2006, which saw a whole page of the invitation card plastered with Liverpool's crest. White wedding garlands were passed among relatives to be blessed, but not before a bright red stamp of approval from the club's acronym 'LFC'.

Home is in Toh Guan, but you would be forgiven if you thought it was Anfield. Flags, coasters, clocks, posters, placemats, mugs, rugs, pillows, bedsheets, curtains... you name it, and they have got it as official Liverpool merchandise.

Decked out head-to-toe in official Liverpool clothing - a daily ritual, even under his work uniform - Vikinisvaran on Saturday shared his desire to have two sons. 'One called Gerrard,' said the container handling specialist, 'and the other Torres.'

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Mr Suppiah, I'm not worthy...

How Liverpool can still win the title this year

I blogged last year (HERE) about why I do not believe that my beloved team Liverpool will win the League title this year...and unfortunately I was proven right. I will be lying if I said that I didn't want them to win. They have been playing really fantastically recently but alas its too little too late.

Jamie showing Arbeloa how white teeth should look like

I have to hand it to Manchester United. They were good week in week out (something Rafa can learn from here) and the only one capable of actually destroying their title hopes are...well...Man Utd themselves. As long as they soaked up the pressure and kept to their winning ways, no other team had a chance. But if they slip up, their rivals are ready to make them pay without any second invitation needed.

It is this way that Liverpool can still technically win the title this season despite Gary Neville having lifted the trophy last week. Think about it... Man Utd still have 1 more game. So they need to do something catastrophically stupid ...like try to rasuah the referee or the other team. Then not only will they lose the title but they may be playing in the Championship next season. Wahahaha!

Ok there are more chances of it snowing in KL than this happening. If there are any Liverpool supporting bomohs out there...you can give it a try and put a hex on them or something.

Its only a game

Some people take football way too seriously...(LINK)

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Iraqi shot dead attempting goal

Associated Press

BAGHDAD -- Police say an Iraqi soccer player has been shot dead just as he was about to kick what could have been the tying goal in a weekend game south of Baghdad.

Police Maj. Muthanna Khalid says a striker from the Buhairat amateur team was facing only the goalie during a Sunday match in Hillah when a supporter of the rival Sinjar club shot him in the head in the final minute of play.

Sinjar was leading 1-0 when the shooting occurred. Khalid said a spectator was arrested.

More Iraqis are turning out for sports events now that security is improving. Major matches in Baghdad are heavily guarded but security in amateur games in smaller cities is often lax.

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Memorable Weekend

I've had a lot of things on my plate recently and I've been wondering if I had bitten off more than I could chew. Its been quite a while since I've been this stressed out. Fortunately, last weekend saw an end to one of those things. I've finally moved into my new house...heheh.

No words can describe the feeling of how it is when you first move into your new house...though if you really insist, 'tiring' or 'stressful' can be used. Yes, its tiring but I'm happy. I'm currently living out of cardbox boxes at the moment (literally), that is until I can unpack everything. It will take some time. That's why I've only showed the one place that is the least messy to look at...heheh.

I also had one of the best 'moving-in' presents ever...

Liverpool beat Man U 4-1 at Old Trafford!!! Woohooo! I couldn't have asked for more. I did not watch the match as I was still cleaning up the house at that time, but I had a good friend text me goal updates. Ironically this good friend of mine is a die-hard MU fan... and I was wondering for a while if he was trying to pull a fast one on me as he SMSed me the third and fourth goals. Now at least when people ask me, 'Oh, when did you move in to the new house?' I can always reply with 'The day Liverpool beat MU 4-1 at Old Trafford.'

Heheh, I know there are a lot of MU fans reading this blog...and most of my friends are MU fans as well, so I won't say much. Hey at least you guys are still top of the league with 1 game on hand...

Back from the dead (Part 2)

You would've thought that Liverpool would have learned by now not to concede goals too early. In a previous post I mentioned how Liverpool's inconsistent playing style leaves them with lots of work to catch up on later. Well, they did it again in their next match with Wigan.

Watching the Liverpool v Wigan match on Saturday was like pure deja vu.

SIMILARITIES BETWEEN THE MAN CITY AND WIGAN MATCH
1) Both games ended with Liverpool winning 3-2.
2) Liverpool conceded two goals in the first half for both matches.
3) Both of Liverpool's opponents had 1 man sent off in the second half (Heheh...rasuah?)
4) Dirk Kuyt scored the winning third goal in both matches.

Dirk Kuyt with a scissor kick that got the winning goal

'IMPROVEMENTS' IN THIS MATCH
1) Liverpool were only down 2-1 at half time, instead of 2-0 >.<
2) Liverpool scored the winning third goal in the 85th minute instead of injury time...

Makes no difference, they really need to get rid of this 'Comeback Kings' mentality and play well form the opening whistle. Hai...

Back from the dead

It has been a long while since I've watched Liverpool play any EPL matches. Normally whenever I watch their matches, it always seem that they will do badly. Anyway I decided to stop by a mamak last night and watch their game.

When I sat down, Liverpool conceded a goal to Manchester City. When my roti telur (dua keping) arrived, they let in another goal. At half time Liverpool were trailing Manchester City by 2 goals. So far it seems my theory of causing bad luck to my own team is holding true.

I thought of going home...but decided against it. In the second half, Liverpool fought back with all they've got and stole a win with Torres netting 2 goals and Kuyt scoring in injury time, thanks in part to a red card given to a Man City player.

Kuyt after scoring the winning goal in stoppage time.

For those of you with a weak heart, it is strongly advised that you do not become a Liverpool fan. Go for a 'safe' team...like Chelsea or Man Utd. However if you choose to be one, then never watch their matches. Liverpool always have the tendency to take their fans for an emotional rollercoaster. For example the Champions League final in Istanbul where they conceded 3 goals in the first half and then in a space of 6 minutes during the second half, equalised and then went on to win through penalties.

The season after that, in the FA Cup final against West Ham (I remember watching this at the Section 17 mamak in Petaling Jaya) where they went down by 2 goals intially. At the end of 90 mins they were still trailing 3-2 when they equalised through Steven Gerrard and then went on to win the FA Cup.

So will they be able to finally win the league this season? The answer is sadly no. Liverpool for all their courage and determination sometimes play football like they're in premenstrual mode. They were crap against Man City in the first half but brilliant in the second. Unless they can play consistently week in week out...don't even dream about it. I hope they prove me wrong though.