$h!t!

Everybody swears. They all do. Even the most docile of characters have some swear words lying dormant within them - ready to be utilized if sufficiently provoked. Now the World Cup is about to kick off today and we already have some odd news.

Wayne Rooney will find his temperament under even greater scrutiny in England’s opening World Cup fixture on Saturday.

It emerged last night that the match officials have taken a crash course in English swearwords as part of a crackdown on abusive language.

Rooney has already been warned about his temperament by Fabio Capello, the England manager, and by Jeff Selogilwe, the South African referee who booked him and accused him of using foul and abusive language during the final warm-up match, against Platinum Stars on Monday.

Now the temperamental striker will be alarmed to learn that Carlos Eugênio Simon, who will referee England’s first group C match against the United States in Rustenburg, and his assistants have been given a list of 20 English profanities to clamp down on.

Hahah! I mean seriously? Referees already have many things to worry about during the game and the last thing they need is to reach into their pockets for a small flashcard and worrying about translations.

I'm not one to pepper my speech with profanities, but I do recognize their place in popular culture. Consider this exchange between two actors in a particular movie.

J : You used this towel?

V : Yeah, to dry my hands.

J : Didn't you wash them with soap first?

V: I did. But its hard to get it off.

J : I used the same soap you did!

Not very interesting is it? 'No kick' as they say. That was from the movie Pulp Fiction and featured a conversation between Jules and Vincent who were cleaning their blood-soaked hands. Somehow I don't think Pulp Fiction would have been as iconic as it is had it been censored to such a degree. Here is the colorful version in its full glory...if you're interested. - LINK

It is said that Wayne Rooney's passion for the game has often been misunderstood as anger. It is just an outlet for him to release his frustrations on the pitch. Well its definitely better than head-butting an opponent in the chest... and here's where he can learn from us Malaysians.

We are a multilingual society - and that means we are capable of cursing in more than 1 language or dialect. Fabio Capello should teach his players to swear in other languages so they do not risk losing. I mean if the players cannot vent their anger in their normal ways, it will definitely affect their performance. All that rage within them will turn them green like Hulks. Unless its Rooney - then its green like Shrek. They've been training for 4 years for this one moment (swearing all the way through their qualification I'm sure) and now you ask them to change the night before? Impossible!