Friday, November 19, 2010

2 Weddings in 2 Days

The last weekend was a very memorable one. Here's why...

The Batu Pahat Wedding - Saturday

With only 3 hours sleep under our belts, Milton, Ken and I set off from PJ at around 3am plus. We didn't know much about what was in store but the plan was to reach Batu Pahat at around 7am where we will fulfill our roles as hengdais. 

The windscreen wiper hard at work against bird droppings (or night insects)
The games were not really that tough actually... I think we managed to get in quite easily with our dignities intact.

Must have been one hell of  a stag night
Emmanuel (the groom) is from Batu Pahat and we were quite fortunate to have Milton (a Johorian) drive us around as he was able to provide a running commentary on the sights and histories of the places we went to. However, the driver is from Muar and since there is some rivalry between those two towns, the commentaries were at best, completely biased. 

'Muar is a great country, I hope you all brought your passports!' 

As we were waiting for the lift at the hotel lobby where the wedding dinner was taking place, I casually commented that the hotel was bigger than any we've seen at Muar. Not missing a beat, Milton the driver asked, "Ted, how will you be going back later leh?" I quickly muttered something about quality over quantity to appease the Muarian. 

Congratulations to Emmanuel and Shermaine!
It was a very beautiful wedding and I'm glad that I did not miss this. After the dinner I followed Ah Seng (the part time magician) back to KL and was back on my pillow at exactly 3.30am. Exactly 24 hours...

The Klang Wedding - Sunday

In contrast to Saturday's hectic schedule, this was literally a walk in the park. It was a very laid back affair. The only minor hiccup was being called together with the guys on stage to dedicate a chinese song to Ah Seng. Thankfully I learnt from my Sibu experience and lip synced all the way (it was the exact same song by the way). My wife and I really enjoyed the company of our ex-university mates, some of whom we rarely get the chance to see since we stay in Kota Kinabalu. 

Congratulations to Ah Seng (no relations to the magician) and Thien Thien
As we were driving back to PJ, my wife commented that Ah Seng and Thien Thien are the last couple in our batch to tie the knot and therefore we should see less red bombs appearing in our mailboxes from now. The idea goes something like this. 

Anticipated trends in wedding invitations in years to come
The past couple of years we've seen many of our friends and peers getting married (Point A) and the next peak (Point B) will be when the children of our friends/peers get married. That will probably be 20 years or so down the road. So that means we are somewhere in the decline to the trough of the graph.

Then I suddenly realized that none of my 3 housemates are married yet. When I told my wife about this, we realized that the same goes for her as well. Crap! 
How long till the next one? 1 year? 1 decade? (disregard the fella at the top - he's expecting his baby girl soon)
I don't know when they will marry, but I do know that within 10 years time prices for air tickets will not stay the same. And I cannot promise that within the next 10 years the head count in the Ch'ng family household will remain at 2. Fortunately I have a few things up my sleeve.

1) Get them LV-ed
...and by LV I mean Louis Vuitton. I'm taking a leaf out of LVMH's tactics here in acquiring Hermes shares stealthily and at half the current market rate. Based on the principle of 'money in my pocket is better than money in your pocket' I can offer them their advanced ang pows at today's market rates. Regardless of how the market rates for ang pows will be like 10 years down the road, the ROI on the principal sum that I've handed to them should give them a better profit depending on how wisely they invest that money. So far only 1 person has rejected this proposal...

2) Get them to marry Sabahans
This will save me a lot of money do them a big favor since Sabahan girls are really pretty. Any girls (or guys) interested please contact me through this blog.

3) Get them to marry together
Since there will be a lot of repeating names on the guest list, why not get them to tie the knot all on the same day? I'm sure many more people will turn up for this instead of attending 3 separate functions. Some more they can save on the cost for the wedding dinner! An even better idea is that if my 3 housemates marry my wife's 3 housemates. 

"What??! Why you so cincai one? How can simply marry like that?!" my wife asked when I suggested this. However she saw the merits of my side of the argument when I pointed out that it will be six separate wedding functions, versus just one big one. One shot kao tim all. 

If any of my housemates are reading this, please don't take any offense yea. You know I talk a lot of rubbish sometimes (but I'm quite serious about the advanced ang pow thing...please consider it carefully). It was great meeting all of you, and I look forward to the next time that will happen again. 


Johnny Ong said...

a great master plan of yrs - yr hsemates marry her hsemates hahahaha

Ted said...

Thanks Johnny, heheh. Unfortunately my sales pitch has not excited my housemates as much as I have planned.