Sobering Up

It was quite late in the evening when this man approached the counter. You can smell him from quite a distance away... he had been drinking quite heavily. Either that or he had been soaking in a jacuzzi full of beer.

Uncle : 'Gi-gi-give me this...er....what is it...you know...the one for flu? Wh-wh-white colour one, quite big tablet, not sleepy wan.'

I showed him Clarinase.

Me : ' This one? Clarinase?'

Uncle : 'No-no-no. Not this one. This is Clarityne. I don't want Cl-cl-clarityne. I want the other one for flu. The bi-big round one.'

Me : 'You sure its not this one? This is not Clarityne, its Clar-'

Uncle : 'Yea yea, not this one. I'm ve-very sure. Hang on let me ca-call... call my wife.'

I left the Clarinase with the box on the counter and attended to another customer while he made the call.

Uncle : '(After the call) Yea my wife said its the big, white round tablet...'

Me : '(Pointing to the box of Clarinase that was still on the counter) Is this the one? Clarinase?'

Uncle: 'Yes! This is the one! Clarinase!'

So... two facts.

Fact No. 1 Alcohol messes up with the brain's cognitive abilities and renders it ineffectual. Its like a train that pulls up a few metres short of the station - no one can get on or off to make use of it.

Fact No. 2 Nothing sobers a man more (and/or faster) than a conversation with his wife.

Sore Loser

I've had my PSP for a couple of years now and it has entertained me through the many ups and downs in my life. A game in which I have logged a considerable amount of time on is Winning Eleven (or Pro Evolution Soccer).

Initially I started with the easiest level available in the Master League setting and then when I started winning by at least 5 goals in each match, raise the difficulty by one level. Winning on a higher level may be difficult at first, but with time and patience, you can beat the machine (As opposed to playing against another human where more is required. You must always be wary of dirty tactics - like your opponent messing with your controller when you are about to score...not that I do that kind of thing).

On the subject of playing with another human gamer, there are also emotions to consider. Like if you constantly leave your gaming partner eating the dust in your latest duel. There are people who thrive on this kind of challenge, they resolve to get back at you and make you eat humble pie. And then there are also people who are sore losers... eventually you'll have one less gaming partner because they will be very reluctant to play with you.

Recently my PSP started acting like a human.

I've been playing at the 5th highest level of difficulty (out of 6) for some time and have been winning a bit too comfortably. After this current Master League season I'll probably start playing one level higher. Then Mr Pee-Ass-Pee started pulling this stunt.

Each time the ball is in my possession, it will somehow revert to the Quit Menu. Even worse - the game doesn't pause itself! What a low blow. Main belakang ni...

The Quit Menu can only be accessed by pressing the HOME button on the bottom left corner of the screen and as you can see in the video my finger was no where near it. I had to press the HOME button again to get out of the menu.

To say its irritating is an understatement. There are few things in this world that are more annoying than Justin Bieber and his songs but I'd rather put a mop on my head and sing 'Baby baby baby ooooh~!' than be unjustly cut off when Gerrard is about to score from 30 yards out. But I guess I'd better let it win once in a while. After all you know what happen when you try to call someone who is very bad at losing over for a game. They ignore your call and messages or make up excuses. One day Mr PSP may not turn up for the game at all.

Happy Hour

The heat wave that we had some time back seems to be replaced by days and days of rain. It was not too long ago that Facebook was filled with countless status updates about how people will die if they do not have rain soon, how their brains could not function in the heat and so on (and even if it did rain there will be multiple updates to say its not the kind of rain that they wanted). I actually loved the heat wave. I was thankful for it because it meant a couple of months doing easy gardening.

Everything in my garden wilted and died...except for the plants that I chose to shower my watery mercy upon. And this was excellent! Suddenly I had lots of time to do other things. However, good things never last. A brief spell of rain and...

Opportunity cost = 2 hrs on the PSP

Its never easy to nurse a plant you want to fruition, but these undesirable shrubs hardly need any encouragement. If I remember my high school biology right, pollens are like plant male sperms. And they need to travel somewhere to fertilize the female component. They normally can't copulate on their own and they need to rely on some trigger to move them about physically. As I did the gardening last weekend it occurred to me "Damn! I'm facilitating plant sex!"

Inter-species copulation

Goodness! I was like a bartender handing out free drinks in a singles (and desperate) only bar! The birds and the bees were probably putting in their fair share as well but I think I was the only one that realized that I had been sucker-punched. Well the bees get a kick out of doing it - they get nectar for their efforts, I get allergies.

There is a way around this problem. The plans include building a concrete wall around the perimeter of the house (reducing the weeds and shrubs from growing through the porous green fencing at the moment) and getting some professional landscaping done (low-maintenance carpet grass). This costs money.

Not wanting to pile on more debts, this is a solution that can only be achieved later rather than sooner. So I'll let the weeds win for now. One day lah...you watch out. When the laborers are doing the concrete wall and the landscapers busy with their work, I'll make sure I blast Semisonic's 'Closing Time' over and over again, especially the part before the chorus 'You don't have to go home but you can't stay here!' If talking and singing to plants make them grow better, this is psychological waterboarding.

Till then, come get your free drinks! Last call is still a long way off.

Here Horsey

Ever thought of owning a horse? Check out the advert below.

I must say I've never thought a horse will be as cheap as RM 1300 each. Some more you buy 4 you get Rm1000 each only! That's empat ekor! Wow! One Honda EX5 Dream costs more than that! Some more if you notice the ad to the right, satu ekor anjing is way more expensive. Pound for pound, the furrier one costs a fortune.

If I had a bigger garage...hmm, I may just ride to work everyday.

Ketua Perangkap Tikus

Britain has a new Prime Minister. While David Cameron may have been very busy in appointing ministers and officials to key government positions, there is one post that greatly interests me. That is the position of Chief Mouser to the Cabinet Office (this title - as with a lot of other titles or names - holds a lot more glamour than its malay translation).

Appointed officials are considered 'civil servants' and reside at the iconic 10 Downing Street. Operating from such a position, you will get the opportunity to be involved in the heartbeat of the current administration, rub shoulders (among many other body parts you can choose from) with top dignitaries from around the world and be the social and media darling. Downside? You only get paid £100 per year. Oh and you must meow.

As the name suggests, your job is to exterminate the little furry rodents that scamper around the hundred or so rooms at 10 Downing. The last Chief Mouser was Sybil.

Looks like her dad must have been a cow at some stage

Sybil started her term on the 11th September 2007, but failed to settle in and left after six months. It was rumored that Gordon Brown disliked Sybil, though I suspected it was the other way round. She died in July 2009.

Sybil patrolling the grounds

Now, her predecessor was something of a legend. Humphrey held the position so long that he served under 3 Prime Ministers.

Some highlights of Humphrey's career:

-Humphrey was said to be of considerably better value than the Cabinet's professional pest controller who charged £4,000 a year but was reported to have never caught a mouse.

- In November 1993, Humphrey was found to be suffering from a kidney ailment and a strict diet was instituted. A ban on feeding him treats was put in place.

- In June 1994, Humphrey was accused of killing 4 robin chicks who was nesting in a box outside the office of the Prime Minister. Then Prime Minister John Major exonerated him the next day.

- In June the following year, Humphrey went missing. He was found patrolling the nearby Royal Army Medical College where he was taken in on the assumption that he was a stray. Upon his return to 10 Downing, Humphrey issued a statement through the civil service saying, "I have had a wonderful holiday at the Royal Army Medical College, but it is nice to be back and I am looking forward to the new parliamentary session."

- Humphrey was manipulated out of office months after the Blairs moved in to 10 Downing Street. He was apparently sedated and forced into retirement.

- He died March 2006.

I could definitely make use with a Chief Mouser in my office too... but too bad, I'm a dog person.

Movie Karma

Going to the cinema to catch a movie has turned out to be something of a luxury for me. It hasn't always been like this - but with many other social and work commitments it has been relegated down the priority list. Its usually confined to public holidays and even then, not always.

This schedule effectively means that I will miss lots of blockbusters ... the 2012 movie showing being one of them. I thought it would't be that bad since I had borrowed a DVD version, but it turned out to be a dud.

I'm Dud

Fortunately the Gods of All Things Cinematic (Oh yeah, its a real deity alright! Talking loudly during a movie will ensure you get crappy front row seats for the next few movies you attend...that sort of thing) has decided to step in and show some mercy. When my wife found out that 2012 will be showing in a test run to the opening of the new GSC at Suria Sabah, we jumped at the chance.

It may have been a long time in coming, but well appreciated nevertheless. You know what the best part is?

It's free! Heheh.

Pano for iPhone

I'm pretty sure that I'll be bored with the iPhone one day. Its always the case with technology, something will render it obsolete sooner or later. Not now though, I'm still having loads of fun with it. Got myself the Pano app over the weekend. (Please click on the pics for a larger view)

Putting the app through its paces

Sundays at the gym, that's one of the reason why I like to go at that time. You can set all the treadmills at the same speed then run all the way from the first one on the left to the last one on the right by treadmill-hopping.

Mixing Pano and Macro - Pacro!

This app makes me taller too!